First of all…my apologies, I have finally been granted more bandwidth for this little project of mine – so I will be able to update with some new things I have been learning in my BBEdit class…can’t wait!

Now for another Shit List:

1. New payroll procedures. If possible HR has managed to make our timesheets even more complicated. Now I have to deduct OT from COMP if I work less than 38 hours a week, but am exempt if I am here on alternate Saturdays? And I have to know which days I am going to be sick by the 18th of each month and then revise accordingly on the NEXT TS? Note to Alan Ramirez in HR: How about I just write a number on a post-it and you hand me a check?
2. Limited edition items in our snack machine. Can’t there be some consistency? When I want a Reeses, I want the original, not White Chocolate Hazlenut Reeses. Now I have to wait for five more people to buy those, before the originals pop back to the fore in D7.
3. The distinctive aroma of the packaging in certain eBay purchases. My latest Taz collectibles came in newspaper that smelled like old lady. Taz no like!
4. The new hastily photcopied signage in the men’s bathroom that reads “PLEASE FLUSH AFTER USING THE TOILET”. Like I’m going to flush BEFORE using the toilet. Duh, what are we monkeys?
5. Bring your dog to work day. I’m pretty sure it’s not “Bring your sick, sneezing, arthritic, hobbling, allergen-producing flea bag to work day”.
6. Tom Needleburn’s Elmo shirt. Not because I am ambivalent about that particular muppet, but because I kept thinking in my head “Tickle-Me-Elmo”. And as much as I like Tom, I am not going to tickle that.
7. Ed, the parking lot cop. This guy is drunk with power. Two tickets in one week for going 15 in a 5 mph zone? Sorry, Ed, I don’t drive a golf cart like you, with a top speed of 5mph. I drive a CAR, which doesn’t even go 5 mph in reverse. And no, I don’t know who broke your flashing yellow light. 🙂
8. Vitamin boost smoothies.
9. Those weird small flies that somehow manage to situate themselves in the mathematical center of any space and just zig zag around in a swarm. Has anyone looked into why or how they do that?
10. New ornery teenager working a summer gig at OrderUP! Don’t think I didn’t notice the eye roll when I asked for more bacon on my North of the Border Burger. It’s gonna be a long summer, punk.

Well, that’s all the shit that’s fit to print. For now. I’m off to Sally’s Submariner for a grinder with extra peppers.