Apparently Cathy just put Mike on her shitlist. Guess someone is reading this thing! It got me to thinking about my own shitlist. Here’s what I have so far, concequences be darned:
Shitlist
By H.V. Smith
- Lucinda and Fred. For making microwave popcorn at 9:20 am EVERY day. It’s just too early.
- Woman from cubicle 407-B12. Why are you not friendly? Would it have killed you to just laugh when I said, “Seems like a shame to be faxing on such a nice day?” Your response? “I’m faxing.” Uh… not the point. It’s called compassion, might want to suck a little bit of THAT out of the fax.
- Microwave popcorn. Why does it smell like buttered urine during minute 1-2?
- Andy Uchlan. Carryover from End of Year Shitlist, 2K4. Give it back Andy!
- Yu-gi Oh. What the heck? Seriously.
- Hyper dogs. When I’m on the parcourse, I don’t want your pooch jumping on my track suit, cause it means with my allergies I have to bury or burn the pants. And with my weight fluctuation and my car payments, pants are a luxury.
- Mike “the laminator is broken, it’ll have to wait a week” Stanton. Screw you. And the laminator you rode in on.
- People who describe themselves as “champagne.” What?
- Cindy Yu. It’s called teamwork, Cindy. And just because I was not invited to the meeting, doesn’t mean I have nothing to contribute. Remember my memo????
That’s it. Gawd, I have to stop making lists, cause it really gets my BP up. I’m going to go steal some Pringles from marketing’s kitchen.