Introducing YD Industries Billionaire Ordain-o-Matic™

YD Industries

02 Sep 2025 — 2 min read

What it looks like to be ordained.

“Billionaire minds aren’t just special — they’re ordained.”

YD Industries is proud to unveil its latest breakthrough in talent identification and leadership validation, developed through a landmark partnership between the Department of Self-Validating Pseudoscience™ (DSVPS) and the Institute of Cherrypicked Historical Anecdotes™ (ICPHA).

Forget outdated, “aristocratic” models like merit, experience, training, or competency. With the Billionaire Ordain-o-Matic™, we tap directly into the cosmic stream of apex leadership potential to ordain the few, the rare, the billionaire-izable.

⚙️ How It Works:

The Ordain-o-Matic™ is a sleek, form-fitting neural crown that performs a real-time scan of a user’s cognitive and genetic markers to arrive at a single proprietary metric, determining whether they possess the rare, preordained traits of a future billionaire. These include:

Monofocus Obsessionality™
Belief in Technological Solutions to Social and Political Realities™
Absolute Absolution from Accountability™
Unshakeable Faith in One’s Own Exceptionalism (Despite Mounting Evidence)™

Once an individual has been ordained, a ceremonial gong will sound. They will immediately gain the confidence necessary to solve humanity’s greatest problems… via personal wealth accumulation. Following capital conquest, they are free to fractionally distribute resources in accordance with their own AI-authored manifesto, pursue their own immortality, or colonize and populate a radioactive and inhospitable neighboring planet with their harem’s offspring.

Available in Three Visionary Tiers:

🪙 Freemium Tier

For early disruptors. Includes basic behavioral marker reinforcement and light identity inflation:

Unmoored Confidence-to-Capacity Ratio™ Appear highly competent despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Solutioneering Reflex™ Every problem is a nail; every nail deserves a cloud-based technology.
Meritocratic Narcissism™ “My success is clear proof of my superiority.”

💼 Business Tier (Most Popular)

For founders already disrupting social norms, ethics, and industries. Includes all Freemium features, plus:

Disruptive Disregard for Human Welfare™ Layoffs aren’t failures, they’re capital-efficient cultural realignments.
Iterative Empathy Deferral™ Push ethics and social impact to Q5.
Reality Distortion Field Emission™ Turn cha-os into cha-risma.
Monetization Moral Equivalence™ If it scales, it’s sacred.
Accountability Absolution Protocol™ “It’s clearly not my fault. It’s that weird dude over there.”

🏢 Enterprise Tier

For fully ordained Apex Leaders™ operating above consequence and enrobed in divine light. Includes all of the above, plus:

Ideological Product-Market Fit™ Adapts beliefs to align with quarterly earnings and shifting public and/or political sentiment.
Cognitive Sovereignty Complex™ (Beta) A persistent state of self-authored brilliance, immunity to regulation, journalism, and shame.
Philanthropic Repackaging Disorder™ “Benevolence is donating $100M to my own foundation to avoid $1B in taxes.”

Testimonials from Early Adopters:

“I always knew I was different. The Ordain-o-Matic™ gave me the validation I craved. My social impact initiatives now run entirely on my own crypto coin, $MYSRY.” — Tobias G., serial entrepreneur & CEO of DisruptifyTech“The Ordain-o-Matic™ told me I had ‘unlimited potential.’ Now I’m buying dry creekbed-adjacent property on Mars. This thing works.” — Lara J., 3rd-generation founder & 3rd-generation visionary