Moon Mission Recalibration, IntelliTrike™ Release - YD Global Dispatch

YD Industries Internal Newsletter | Volume 49, Issue 8 | Thursday, February 19th, 2026
"Ideas. Actions. Success."

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Dispatch Executive Summary:

1. Moon Pivot - Castle Pounder lunar development postponed for new opportunity
2. Super Bowl Marketing Innovation - Streaking ahead of the competition
3. Childhood Innovations: Bringing Tricycling into the Future 
4. New Rochelle Restaurant Roundup - Restaurants around YD’s HQ
5. Announcements - Brain scans, ID Badge Update, Lunch & Learn

🎈Moon Pivot: Building 9 Resource Alignment  

In June of 2017, Richard Thornduke III (founder, CEO, Chairman) plotted our bold vision to build the first Castle Pounder on the moon at the Future Site of the Sea of Tranquility Apollo 11 Theme Park. Over the course of 97 missions to the lunar surface, YD Space Programs has completed primary framing of the future Castle Pounder. However, given the well-documented challenges around moon dust impacting joint function of the humanoid fabrication bots, and the slow pace of construction of the neighboring Apollo 11 Theme Park and supporting tourist infrastructure (bathrooms, moon buggy parking, and ATM vestibules), YD Space Programs is putting the project on hold to focus on an exciting new opportunity.

The air column above Building 9 represents an under-leveraged atmospheric asset in our vertical portfolio. Therefore, the YD Space Program will focus internal efforts and rightsized resources on procedures to leverage prevailing tradewinds to deploy durable weather balloons from Building 9's roof, significantly improving internet connectivity in the tri-state area.

🏃‍♂️YD Industries Redefines Super Bowl Brand Activation Through Strategic Streaker Partnership with NFL 

YD Industries is proud to announce that, following this year's unprecedented engagement metrics, we have secured exclusive sponsorship of future Super Bowl LX streakers! With the success of this year’s "test brand building via bowl streaker pilot," we have secured streaker rights from the NFL for the next two Super Bowls and will feature streaking placements for the Cat Bidet II in the 2027 telecast.

Traditional broadcast advertising has become prohibitively expensive and demonstrably ineffective at reaching prime consumer demographics. By contrast, a well-timed field incursion generates 47 seconds of uninterrupted camera time, 600+ million organic impressions, and invaluable social media amplification, all at a fraction of the cost of a 30-second spot. 

While this year’s YD streaker placement was in the traditional "mostly nude with body paint" style, next year we plan to push the envelope and release three simultaneous streakers, each wearing full-body Cat Bidet II-branded bodysuits to ensure maximum product visibility during the security tackle sequence. Early projections suggest this approach will deliver a 340% improvement in cost-per-engagement versus conventional marketing methods. 

🤖 Childhood Innovations: The Future of Tricycling is NOW! 

YD Industries' childhood behavioral scientists, neurobiologists, and electrical engineers have teamed up to solve the pressing challenge of our time: how do we make tricycling safer and train our youth for the autonomous future? After combing through 2,700 datasets, engaging in anthropological behavior coding, and product testing in a local pizza arcade, we have developed the plaything of the future, today! Introducing: The IntelliTrike™

The IntelliTrike™ is a fully autonomous, self-navigating, and self-pedaling electric vehicle that takes all the danger and mystery out of operating a tricycle. Past generations struggled to pedal uphill, navigate ramps, and avoid mysterious neighborhood kids. With the IntelliTrike™, both navigation and locomotion are handled by AI-powered autonomous technology, military-grade GPS, and battery power for hours of pedal-free operation. 

Retail price: $2999 (YD Easy Pay-More-Later installment eligible!)

🍔 HV Smith Memorial New Rochelle Restaurant Roundup

In this new newsletter segment, we will profile fresh dining options around the YD Industries New Rochelle Headquarters campus. This segment is in memory of the late HV Smith, who profiled local dining options on his pioneering Geocities Blog "The View From Here," which had a dedicated following on the original YD Campus (Buildings 1 and 2). 

New restaurants to add to your eatlist that HV would have loved:

Boon’s Smoothie Barrel - The word is out in New Rochelle, and you will likely have to wait in line to get your Instagram-worthy Barrel-Aged Biloxi Blueberry Burst or Rango-o-Mango smoothie. If you come for breakfast in a blender or a meal in a squeeze tube, Boon’s has you covered.

Hangry Slim’s - This after-work favorite, long known for its wing-ding and oyster happy hour, has recently completed a stunning renovation. Now all your menu favorites (Cheeze Nibblers, The Onion Fry Bag, Horton’s Fish Bits ‘n Bobs) can be enjoyed in an expanded replica of the western saloon generations of YD-ites have grown to love. Be sure to tell your server, “I’m feeling HANGRY!” for a free upgrade to Old Yeller Cheese Fries.

📣 Announcements

Free Brain Activity Evaluation: The New Rochelle Brain Clinic is offering free brain activity scans on March 3rd and 4th. The painless procedure takes just seconds, and promises to reveal your brain type (indigo, heart, impulse, flange) and optimal working environment. In addition, the data will provide the foundation for a study comparing humans with slow-moving invertebrates (tentatively slugs, pending successful capture). Come to the mobile scan wagon parked outside Building 3, and please do not drink coffee one hour before the scan.

YD Employee ID badges are being upgraded to include additional biometric markers. Rolling email invites will be sent over the next three weeks with appointment times to reshoot your profile picture, select a custom background, and submit a DNA nasal swab. Swab participation is optionally mandatory.

Henry Meadowlark (Director, Synthetic Ingestibles) will host a Brown Bag Lunch & Learn titled “The Magic World of Chalk” on Wednesday, March 6th, at 12 pm, in the Thornduke North Concourse Esplanade. Participants are encouraged to come early for a blind tasting of artisanal carbonated prune juices.

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