YD-Verse Out, Wearables Are In - The YD Global Dispatch
Ultra Presence Plus™ represents a quantum leap beyond "virtual" workspaces. It deploys lidar mapping, 360-degree optical capture, parabolic acoustic receptors, and integrated meteorological sensors.
YD Industries Internal Newsletter | Volume 49, Issue 6 | Wednesday, January 22nd, 2026
"Ideas. Actions. Success."
Alert: Due to the recent data center migration, some employees may not be receiving this newsletter. Please forward it to colleagues who have not yet located the new intranet and encourage them to resubscribe.
Dispatch Executive Summary:
- YD-Verse sunset following Strategic Portfolio Optimization
- Ultra Presence Plus™ announced as the future of lived experience
- Paraguay data center achieves record efficiency gains post-incident
- GeoContest solved, and immediately restarted
- Apex Wantbeast safety clarification from Facilities
YD-Verse Sunset Announcement
Following a comprehensive assessment of market conditions and internal demand, YD Industries is initiating a Strategic Portfolio Optimization (SPO) to reallocate YD-Verse resources toward enhanced physicality protocols and balance sheet optimization metrics.
Richard Thornduke III (Founder, CEO, Chairman) recently summarized: "The YD-Verse represented yesterday's tomorrow. Ultra Presence Plus™ represents today's day-after-tomorrow."
YD Industries has divested the YD-Verse platform to newly formed subsidiary YD-CyberGummy Innovations LLC for $1.99, transferring its $4 billion in development costs, operational losses, and remaining gummy-bear-related litigation liabilities off the core balance sheet. YD-CyberGummy Innovations LLC (now helmed by former YD deprecated technologies VP Trevor Kensington) is expected to file for Chapter 11 within 90 days, at which point YD Industries will likely reacquire the hardware assets at liquidation pricing.
Introducing Ultra Presence Plus™: The Future of Reality
Ultra Presence Plus™ represents a quantum leap beyond "virtual" workspaces. Using lidar mapping, 360-degree optical capture, parabolic acoustic receptors, and integrated meteorological sensors, Ultra Presence Plus™ overlays your immediate environment with actionable intelligence. This includes real-time health metrics, predictive alerts calibrated to 73 percent accuracy, and continuous AI coaching during moments of uncertainty, including public transit hubs and portable sanitation enclosures.
The Ultra Presence Plus™ system is housed in a 14-pound ergonomic helmet featuring a military-grade blast-shield display and bone-conduction audio sensors. Early beta testers report that after three to four hours of continuous use, they completely forget they are wearing it. Despite some initial medical reports of “helmet lag” due to spinal compression, most beta testers noted a 12% increase in neck-muscle density after a month of continuous deployment.
As Dean Kramer (EVP of Strategic Coherence) stated during the product unveiling: "The YD-Verse was the tomorrow of our past; Ultra Presence Plus™ is the 'now' of our future's next fiscal quarter, pending hardware supply chain integrity and spinal adaptation protocols."
Data Center Update: Paraguay Facility Achieves Efficiency Gain Post-Incident.
The Ultra Presence Plus™ platform leverages the exact same Paraguay data center infrastructure previously allocated to the YD-Verse, proving that true innovation isn't about escaping reality, but using what’s already on the amortization table and calling it groundbreaking.
During post-incident remediation (classified internally as a brief outage), thermally compromised gummy bear remains were located, with the unexpected assistance of indigenous fire ants that entered through a foundation crack and migrated directly to the affected NVIDIA Blackwell casement, demonstrating superior thermal detection and sucrose-mediation capabilities. Their performance has inspired a new pilot initiative, Fire Ant Web Services™, in which venomous ants will serve as living data center sentinels and custodial resources.
GeoContest: Where in the World is Steve Musselman?
FROM: Employee Engagement & Gamification Team
SOLVED: The December 24th Musselman Geolocation challenge was solved by Belinda Matthews (YD social media manager, Nose Hair Extension Group), who correctly identified Tashkent, Uzbekistan, as Steve’s location. Congrats Belinda!
NEW CHALLENGE: Steve Musselman is currently attending another international conference focused on politics, emerging technologies, and strategic innovation paradigms, and has sent us a picture. Using only Steve’s photo below, determine his current location!
HOW TO ENTER:
Submit your geo-guess via the YD Intranet portal (Employee Contests > Non Board games > Geo-Challenge > January) by January 30, 2026.
PRIZE:
The lucky employee who correctly identifies Steve's location first (or comes closest) will win: 50 Layer Points, a $100 Order Up! Gift card, a voice memo from Steve Musselman (duration not guaranteed), and one (1) pre-worn Ultra Presence Plus™ beta unit (aftermarket neck brace included).
Void where prohibited
Good luck, and happy guessing!
Apex Wantbeast Diorama Update From Facilities
Following preliminary testing, Facilities has determined that the suggestion box slot will no longer share an orifice with the Apex Wantbeast's propane flame nozzle. Please submit employee suggestions using the provided notepads and insert them into the snake's mouth (not the lion or goat, the serpent head). Nancy Bakies (ext. 7743) also notes that the Wantbeast's eyes now feature motion-activated color LED illumination for enhanced after-hours suggestion submission, though she “doesn't know who authorized or installed it."
THE YD GLOBAL DISPATCH is published by YD Industries Internal Communications. Feedback? Suggestions? Send them to info@ydindustries.com or insert into Wantbeast snake mouth. Past issues archived on the YD Intranet.
