First off, thanks to the Sunshine Committee for spreading the word about my recent ailment. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated the awkward glances in the elevator these past few days. Here’s a few other things to gnaw on:

1. Number 1, it is great to receive a generic card from gift shop signed “your friends at YD” in 12 point bell gothic light.
2. Number 2, the note in the breakroom that says HV has syphillis is both inaccurate and poorly designed.
3. Number 3, of all the cards available at the YD Gift Mart, I am absolutely baffled at the choice of the alligator in the hospital. I fail to even see the point of the clever message “Gator Well Soon!.”

Gator me out of here…and into a plate of homemade apple quesadillas at Juan Feinsteins! Dee-lish!