Author archive for HV Smith

  • Entry 25 – Audit prep means another Shitlist!

    By HV Smith on March 9, 2013
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    ACK! If I hear one more stupid thing about audit prep… time for another Shit List: Cancellation of the Holiday Ice Skate and Chili Party. Apparently not enough people signed up. I saw the list in Cindy’s outbox. It was me, Needleburn, and Kyle’s new assistant Darren. I am trying to NOT take that personally. Gingerbread Lattes. Yeeuck. Divisive office […]
  • Entry 24 – Farewell to Tyra

    By HV Smith on March 7, 2013
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    In case you didn’t see this – it came in coded green from the supercomputer at 7:22pm, Thursday: “It is with great sadness that we bid adieu to our dear Deputy Director of Administration (and President of the Terrier Society, Ms. Tyra O’Neil. Tyra, or Rhonda (as she was known around the office- at least to me, until yesterday!) joined […]
  • Entry 23 – Hot quarterly staff retention action

    By HV Smith on March 6, 2013
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    Urgent note – priority set to high! To the visiting consultant from the Gavena Group assisting us through the desktop actualization and subsequent reauthorization process: You are in need of an immediate and radical hygiene intervention! That mustache should be quarantined and repeatedly washed. With borax. And lemon Pledge. Rule number one of customer relations – LYB (Look Your Best). This should […]
  • Entry 22 – Emotional goodbyes

    By HV Smith on March 5, 2013
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    An emotional week with Terry O. leaving (thanks to all who joined in to get TO the very nice YD Hologram lapel pin. It DOES look she’s winking!) Now…since I’m feeling low…and not just my blood sugar…I present another SHIT LIST. Office Baby Boom. As if it wasn’t enough to have my neighbor Carlita telling me how I need to […]
  • Entry 21 – Campus restaurant map

    By HV Smith on March 4, 2013
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    Enough already! After so many requests from my fellow office foodies (Tricia, that includes you) to map out my local food faves, here you go: Big Ups to Terry O, graphical map master, who spent the better part of the week puting this together for me. Listed are a few of my favorite campus adjacent food haunts. I’ll add to […]
  • Entry 20 – Spring Spectacular Shitlist

    By HV Smith on March 3, 2013
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    Wow. It’s starting to get warm outside – thank god for my personal cooling device. It fits snugly around my neck and keeps me cool all day long! Thanks to intern supreme Terry O. for the helpful hint! And now back to my Spring Spectacular edition of the Shit List. The New OrderUP Cafe. I kind of liked it when […]
  • Entry 19 – YD Mail Services Policy

    By HV Smith on March 1, 2013
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    So here was an interesting bit from a recent email. Seems my recent flurry of eBay purchases has set off some kind of alarm higher up. TGFTN (Thank God for Tom Needleburn)! Begin forwarded email: YD Mail Services provides a wide range of mail processing, collection, and delivery services to the greater YD campus and beyond. Like many departments, Mail […]
  • Entry 18 – Gnaw on this

    By HV Smith on February 27, 2013
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    First off, thanks to the Sunshine Committee for spreading the word about my recent ailment. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated the awkward glances in the elevator these past few days. Here’s a few other things to gnaw on: Number 1, it is great to receive a generic card from gift shop signed “your friends at YD” in […]
  • Entry 17 – Hello Terry O.

    By HV Smith on February 25, 2013
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    Good news! Through some stroke of glorious miscommunication (a specialty of the CE Dept) – yours truly just gained a new intern! I am really looking forward to finally getting some work done with the able assistance of Terry O. WELCOME TERRY O! Terry is getting a degree in sales focused accounting at BPI, and will be here throughout the […]
  • Entry 16 – Peanut Butter List

    By HV Smith on February 24, 2013
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    Say what? Let me explain. I have received a LOT of positive mail from readers of the YD Intranet. BUT nearly 77.8% of that mail has indicated that I may be headed for heart trouble if I keep holding onto anger. In an effort to address this, I am compiling a list of things I like, rather than loathe. Hence […]
  • Entry 15 – Stan’s got a balloon!

    By HV Smith on February 22, 2013
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    HA! I knew this would catch on! Check out Stan Herblonsky’s stab at makin balloon critters for his cubby! Nice work, Stan! (But I think you need to work on your tightening technique.) PS – I never thought I would say those words…especially not to Stan “Tightwad” Herblonsky! LOL – just joshin! See YOU at First Wednesday cake day in […]
  • Entry 14 – Nice Balloon Collection

    By HV Smith on February 19, 2013
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    Some people may look at this and think “Gee, HV, nice balloon collection.” Others, of advanced intuition and superior intellect will see, as I do – the limitless potential of the human imagination. In other words, I have begun taking classes in the fine art of inflatable sculptures. Look for more updates as I gain strength and ability! Requests will […]