Entry 25 – Audit prep means another Shitlist!

By HV Smith on March 9, 2013 in Employee Weblog

ACK! If I hear one more stupid thing about audit prep… time for another Shit List:

  1. Cancellation of the Holiday Ice Skate and Chili Party. Apparently not enough people signed up. I saw the list in Cindy’s outbox. It was me, Needleburn, and Kyle’s new assistant Darren. I am trying to NOT take that personally.
  2. Gingerbread Lattes. Yeeuck.
  3. Divisive office politics. I am NOT naming names. (Rhymes with Mindy)
  4. Co-worker medics. When I tell you I have a cold, you should assume that I am doing what I need to do to take care of myself. I actually don’t need you to suggest zinc-eez or sniffle snuffers, just hear that I am in pain and that you feel for me. I do not need to listen to how you beat the cold you had last week by drinking nothing but grapefruit juice and that powdered vitamin-C crap. Maybe you should have just stayed home instead of touching things at the office, like doorknobs or the start button on the copy machine by my cubicle or the community Red Vines in the break room.
  5. Those cutout snowflakes. Lame.
  6. Company secret Santa gift exchanges… Wow. A gift card! To Smoothie Town. Thanks. No, I DO like Smoothies. Totally. Thanks. I hope you like the calculator watch. It was tough to find.
  7. Reclassification Procedure. To make an extra $6 an hour, I need to spend the next two weeks writing my reclassification request, and then wait up to 6 months for it to be approved, and another 6 months before it gets instated. I might as well ask to be reclassified as a walnut… cause this is NUTS!
  8. New down, honeycomb comforter. I’m basting under this thing.
  9. Technical Limits of TIVO. Cause like, if I could TIVO at will, I would TIVO the hell out that time Cindy took a header off the curb last July. I’m sure she thought no one saw, but she was wrong.
  10. Cashmere dog sweaters.

Well, at least Order Up! has those frosted green shamrock cookies in stock now. I’m going to go eat me a short stack.

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HV SmithView all posts by HV Smith