YD Industries is immediately issuing a recall of the following product: The Bionic Meat Pounder (sku# XCT-98G01).
The YD Industries Bionic Meat Pounder has been recalled.
Operating under normal conditions, as carefully outlined in the included instruction manual written by Ken Follet, the YD Industries Bionic Meat Pounder performs flawlessly. You will not find a better performing bionic meat pounder, anywhere. Period. However, it has come to our legal department’s attention that certain unregulated uses of the Bionic Meat Pounder are potentially hazardous to the health and general welfare of the public at large.
Note to all, the Bionic Meat Pounder is NOT designed to:
- Entertain grandparents
- Administer CPR
- Pound Cake
- Pulverize “nuts”
- Initiate, aid, or otherwise enhance any sort of auto or partnered erotic experience
We apologize for any and all injuries that may have resulted from the unanticipated product applications listed above. A recall of XCT-98G01 has been issued to replace the arm swivel to decrease the hydraulic swing radius to 18% as well as to retrofit the infrared sensitivity clasp. These changes should reduce the number of unfortunate “friendly fire” mishaps reported. All Bionic Meat Pounders should be sent, in a box, to YD Industries factory warehouse in Shenzen, China. YDI will do its best to return your improved pounding product as soon as possible so you can resume your regularly scheduled meatings.
